Dr. Debra Laino

Sex Therapy and Life Coaching in Delaware

Oral Sex Techniques-Ladies Listen Up

While many women scoff at the thought of giving their male partners oral sex and while some become nauseated, oral sex is stimulating for men (and women) and it can be an act of love (i.e. giving pleasure to your partner).  Some of the reasons why oral sex is viewed in a negative light by some women is because they were taught that oral sex is dirty (good girls don’t do those types of things), they have strong gag reflexes, or they have had some type of negative experience with the act.  Ladies, be honest (it’s not as simple as “I just don’t like it”-there is a reason).  With that being said, I have hear some women say things like ” I don’t like the way it smells,” “I don’t want cum in my mouth,” ” I don’t know how” and even “He doesn’t deserve it.”  Either way look at the reason why this is not an appealing act for you.

Needless to say, there are approaches to oral sex that can make the “job” more appealing.  First one has to remember no one is born a good lover it takes some time to figure out not only what your partner likes but also (and perhaps most important) what you like.  So for starters, what is your fantasy?  What do you desire?  What does a  great sexual experience look like to you?  Get in touch with this side of yourself (it will translate into the experience eventually).

Here are a few tips for oral sex:

A wet mouth is important.  Use something that is known to make people salivate (honey, chocolate syrup, anything that will make you salivate-usually something sweet).

Ball wipes-yes they do have them!  Check out http://www.fellaswipes.com/index.html  While this is a UK company you can accomplish the same thing with baby wipes or simply soap and water on a warm wash cloth (make it part of foreplay).

The penis is all about different sensations.  By using your hand on the lower part of the shaft and your mouth on the head and upper part of the shaft you accomplish two things 1. successfully dealing with your gag reflex, and 2. the feeling (for him) of deep throating.

Use something different- A beaded necklace.  Wrap the beaded necklace around the shaft of the penis and jerk him off with your hand over top of the beaded necklace.  Intermittently, suck, lick on the head of his penis.

Good eye contact is always an added pleasure for the man (you looking at him while you are giving him oral sex)

Hummmmmm-once again, sensations on the penis are great for pleasure.  So while you are giving him oral sex hummmmm (the vibrations in your mouth and vocal chords will prove to be sensation-able!)

This is to start off with.  These are great tips that will last a long time and you can build from them.  Remember, if you feel like sexual activity is a chore- there is something else going on within you (values, trauma, stress, loss of attraction, medical issues, medications, etc)  It’s important to figure that out as soon as possible!

 

Ciao,

DD

 

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2 thoughts on “Oral Sex Techniques-Ladies Listen Up

  1. I’ll definitely have to try that technique using the beaded necklace! Sounds fun :-D

  2. When it comes to giving oral, wetness is key. Start licking slowly from the base of his penis all the way to the top. Do this once or twice – alternating sides to wet every inch – then gently suck on the tip while stroking his shaft up and down, making sure to keep it slippery. No man wants a chafed member, so keep spitting when your mouth feels dry or when your hands become sticky.

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