Getting Through a Breakup
Perhaps one of the hardest things we have to do (or at least it seems that way at the time) is getting through a breakup. While we often still have feelings for the person we are breaking up with, there is that critical point when one or two of you believe that the relationship will not work. This is one of the most difficult things to deal with and often leaves us feeling like we never got a chance to prove ourselves.
With that being said, one of the most important lessons that I have learned (and I have seen first and second hand) is grieving and missing someone does not necessarily mean that you want to be with that person. It simply means you’ve lost something that is/was valuable to you and that hurts. It is imperative for people to learn how to not mistake the grief of an ended relationship as love –it is not.
After any relationship ends there is a ‘cooling off” period, a period to get to reconnect with yourself again. Often in unhealthy relationships we tend to merge identities together (which is often at the core of dissatisfaction in a relationship). It is because of this that taking some time after a breakup to be by yourself is important for your overall health. If you find yourself ending one relationship and instantly getting into another there is a potential problem. That problem is often fear of being alone. This pattern is what often gets someone into a continuous pattern of unhealthy relationships.
Revenge is no appealing and is often something we regret later on. After a breakup don’t try to get revenge on the person (especially if they have broken it off with you). You will look crazy and it will get around! I tell people all the time that the best “revenge” is to see your ex a year later with a fabulous life!
With that being said, after a breakup it is imperative to start looking at you and working on you to be the best you that you can be!
Just a few tips on breakups as they unfortunately are part of life.
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.- John F. Kennedy